Tap that!

With the previous post (Bananas and Berry Shakes) it's easy to see that I love me my music. Love. This is a love that has existed forever and because of that I've been attending concerts of various styles, shapes, and sizes for equally as long. In recent months I have decided, along with my concert attending posse, that concert etiquette and know-how is a thing of the past. So here I would like to offer up some observations for a list of Concert Do's, and Concert Don'ts. I'm by no means an expert, but I feel the following list are things we would all benefit from.

DO'S and DON'Ts: CONCERT EDITION

• DO go with your friends or people you care about to concerts. More the merrier.
• DON'T noisily make out with your significant other the entire concert. This includes sucking noises, sighs, heavy breathing, grunts, moans, etc. etc. If you are curious if you've crossed the line, just look at the disgusted faces around you. This will verify your need to a) stop or b) get a room
• DO fraternize with other concert go-ers. This is a great time to get to know new people
• DON'T talk during the entire effing concert. That's right, I said effing.
  
• DO feel free to dance, move about, generally look like you're enjoying the music
• DON'T headbang in a Missy Higgins set. She is not a rocker; neither are you. Also, your incessant need to headbang like Paris Hilton is turning my face into a whipping post for your weave.
• DO use a fake laugh to freak out the people around you. Your friends will wet their pants with hilarity while the people around you judge you . (Tara?)
• DON'T assume that the crazy-scary-beluga-whale-laugh from the girl behind you is real... you just got PUNK'D!
• DO watch what you do with your elbows- in close concert proximity one uninhibited move of the elbow could catch your neighbor in a variety of places that don't want to be smacked: face, boob, crotch. Just to name a few. If you can't control it, fold your arms and sway. Your neighbors thank you for it... and so do their parts.
• DON'T bring your Mary Poppins sized carpet purse to the concert zone. This will double your body mass, but you won't be aware of it, which means as you dance around crazily that purse (that probably has a dead body in it) is whacking and bruising the people around you.
  
• DO consolidate your belongings. Generally speaking you'll need: an ID, the ticket, a bit of cash, chapstick, and a cell phone. These items fit in your pockets. If it doesn't fit in your pocket you probably don't need it. (Please see previous "don't" and get your purse out of my stomach. 'preciate cha.)
• DON'T repeat loudly that you wish the "set would just get over" during the headliner. This makes people who actually want to be there really bothered with you... especially since you and your BFF's obnoxiously and painfully elbowed your way to the front. TIP: leave if you're "so over it".
  
• DO wear deodarant. PLEASE. For the love. We are in close proximity and chances are high that you will be clapping, dancing, and lifting your hands in the air to share your love with the artist. We support you in doing this, as long as you've been supported under there.
  
• DON'T put smoking restrictions on venues if this restriction isn't going to be followed up on
• DO "fart on" the person standing behind you if the cigarette smoke is bothering you. This is a perfect way to say "you're bugging me". Silent, but deadly. (Yeah, this happened, you know who you are!!)
• DON'T stand next to someone whom you suspect to be farting on you. Gets awkward.
• DO yell out "TAP THAT" at the top of your lungs if you find the artist to be super attractive. Works every time, right Asholina?
• DON'T stop going to concerts. Where else can you mash a million people in one gross room and expect them to like it?
  

Bananas and Berry Shakes

As a connoisseur of milkshake making I learned early that if you add a little bit of banana to any fruity flavor it makes the berry taste that much more delightful. Just a hint of banana makes the raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries taste more fresh in the ice cream.

So here's an analogy they should have on the GRE-

BANANAS: BERRY SHAKES ; MUSIC: LIFE

Music is the banana to the berry shake of life. It is the soundtrack of our emotions- happy, sad, and all in between. Music can change our moods dramatically and instantly. It takes the experience of humanity and makes it that much better by making our experiences more vivid, more tangible. The only thing better than a great song on the radio or ear-buds is live music. I love listening and watching artists perform their songs live. I love to hear the stories behind the lyrics and to see how engaged they are in their songs while they sing.

Such was the case Wednesday night at In The Venue as I listened to Joshua Radin and Missy Higgins. I love both of these artists, but Missy's songs especially toca el corazon. Here's a clip that my friend Asholina posted; she filmed this at the concert Wednesday night. Oh Missy, you rock socks.

Thank You, Come Again

It's no secret that I'm a bit of an emotional eater. I'm not ashamed of it; it's just who I am. When I'm stressed/upset/bummed out/alive I tend to eat my feelings. It's not something I worry about because I also work out a billion* times a week and normally make very healthy choices regarding food when not stressed/upset/bummed out/alive.

With that background, it should come as no surprise to you that the last few weeks have been filled with serious food= feelings eating behavior. As I prepared for a certain test, which we will call Voldemort, everyday was packed with stressed/upset/bummed out/ alive moments and I took advantage!

One such emotion packed morning I stopped at 7-11 before hitting up the library. I was going to be hanging out with Voldemort all day and I was going to need a Spice Pumpkin Latte and a chocolate donut to get me through it. Once inside the convenient store I grabbed my purchases, added an oh-so-necessary Dr. Pepper, and piled them on the counter. The store attendant stepped behind the cash register and began to eye my purchases. After a quick survey of the items he looked up at me. Then back down at the food. Up again. And back down. Finally he spoke. His words didn't reflect the normal customer-employee conversation. I was expecting a simple, objective response. Something along the lines of "that will be $3.42, please." Nope. No dice.

"That's A LOT of sugar. Sugar is not good for you. No, not at all."

What?! I was a) mortified; b) shocked; c) ticked; d) stressed/upset/bummed out/alive. No, this isn't a choose your own ending blog--- ALL of these reactions roamed through my mind as I faced my judgment day there in the quickie mart. I laughed, payed my dues, and walked out of the double doors. I had bigger things to face that day than fight a store clerk.

I will say this, however. In reflecting upon this experience I have realized one thing. Sure, loads of sugar at 9:00am may not be good for me. But, dear store clerk, messing with a girl going up against Voldemort? You OBVIOUSLY don't know what's good for YOU.

* Author's note: saying that Okie works out a billion times per week may or may not be an exaggeration...

Really, Facebook? Really?

As a bit of a joke I created, with the help of a friend, a Facebook profile for a Mr. Joe Plumber. The sole purpose of this profile was to a) be hilarious and b) be able to change my "relationship status" to reflect a hook up between Joe the Plumber and myself. Whatever, it's funny. Facebook didn't agree, in fact, here is the email they sent:

Your account was disabled because the name it was registered under was fake. We do not allow users to register with fake names, to impersonate any person or entity, or to falsely state or otherwise misrepresent themselves or their affiliations.

Facebook is built around real world interactions. Operating under an alias detracts from the value of the system as a whole. We take this standard very seriously and take down fake accounts as we become aware of them.

At what point have we declared Facebook, or any other social networking site, to be "built around real world interactions"? Never in my daily life am I notified by a friend that I was "bitten by a Vampire". If someone walking down the street were to randomly "poke" me as they passed I promise you that I would not respond as well as I do when I get "poked" on Facebook. Furthermore, if I were to show up and write on your real life "walls" I think I would actually lose friends, not to mention be arrested for vandalism.

Dear Facebook, Myspace, Blogger, Hi5, etc. etc. etc.: Please remember that you are not reality, you are just replacing reality. Thanks, -- Mrs. Joe the Plumber


** After I posted this blog my good buddy Barbados posted something on her page that just fits perfectly with this post... visit her page to continue the Facebook (mis)reality guided tour... thanks Bob!

Snippet...

Mom: I'm really glad that you took a break from studying to come to dinner

Me: Me too, I really needed to get away from the library. This whole GRE thing is really stressing me out.

Mom: Don't worry, this too shall pass.

Me: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about. This shall pass and kick my ass on it's way by

Mom: Not if you take it out first!

As usual, great advice from the madre.

Now that you're registered to vote...

Confession: I must admit that I have been so caught up in trying to follow the volatile presidential race that I have completely forgotten about all of the other issues facing my own state of Zion. I looked at a sample ballot today and was astounded at all of the issues and races that I don't know about! I didn't even know that Guv Huntsman, Jr. was up for re-election. So, if you're like me, you've probably decided on which ticket you're choosing- McCain/Maverick or Obama/Biden. Now it's time to turn our attention to our local governments.

For the state of Utah there are some important issues and propositions going down, so check it out. THIS WEBSITE helped me to find my new voting location as well as look at a sample ballot. Just enter your info and you're set. The sample ballot has links that tell you about the different propositions as well as the different candidates for Salt Lake County mayor, judges up for re-election, and people running for the board of education.

Also, check out your voting precinct to see if they have the option of early voting... beat the rush!

Hope it helps... let my mess be my message, right?

Sunday Ritual

On my mission we had a code of ethics, or values that we were to live by. One of those values reminded us that preparation is the advantage. I rattled off this value every morning during companionship study, a ritual where two missionaries that form a partnership practice for the days events. Although I rattled it off, I'm not sure I really implemented it. "Preparation is the advantage", blah blah blah.

Last Tuesday I was watching my new favorite time waster, a TV show entitled The Biggest Loser. All political correctness aside, it is my absolute favorite show. The contestants, pairs of families, are busting their butts to get in shape, be healthier, and earn a little cash. I have formed unhealthy TV friendships with these people and faithfully tune in every Tuesday evening to see their personal gains and physical losses. An added bonus of my TV love affair is the weekly advice given by the contestants' trainers. Last week the advice was familiar. Apparently in weight loss, preparation is the advantage.

Call it what you will, but this time I listened. Sib and I spent the evening preparing healthy foods that will be used for breakfast, lunch, and dinner throughout the coming week. The goal is to avoid the unhealthy landmines that hunger brings to those who aren't prepared. My past life labeled this as "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." My new life tells me "if ye are prepared ye shall not eat McDonald's".

We exhausted ourselves preparing the chicken, veggies, brown rice, wheat pasta and fruits. We were so busy preparing ourselves for the week we'd forgotten to eat dinner. We had no choice but to end the healthy food prep session with chocolate donuts.