Blue or Yellow?

Okay, you asked for it! Here's the answers to the first create-your-own-question session...

1. Anonymous asked: Blue or yellow?

Now this is a pretty open ended question. Are we talking Skittles? Because that would be yellow, of the original flavor variety. Tropical Skittles freak me out. But what if we're talking jeans? That would definitely have to be blue, because yellow jeans are just awkward. If you own any I would like to support you in giving them back to the 1970's. Generally speaking I would have to say I prefer a mixture of the two. Blue + Yellow= Green. My favorite color. There it is! Also, anonymous, please show your face. As exciting as it is to have a stalker, I'd rather have a stalker who I can name, joke with, and file police reports against.

You Tell Me

I've been told I'm not blogging enough lately. It seems, actually, that many are not blogging right now. What is it? A change in the weather? The busy holiday season? School? Who knows. Either way, I'm feeling pressure to blog, but have nothing that is blog worthy. So I'm opening up the floor to you. Instead of posting a generic questionnaire, now is your chance! Leave questions in the comments that you want me to answer and I'll get to blogging! Bring it on... I'm hoping your literary poking and prodding will reignite my creative flair... or at least my brain.

... A Case of the Mondays

If you're feeling like me this rainy Monday is inducing a horribly strong case of the Monday's! If you're in need of a chuckle this video is just what the doctor ordered. Keep in mind this is a REAL music video put together by the Hoff and it's all the rage in Germany. Oh, how it makes me grin.

Spumoni

Spumoni is a splendid little ice cream treat made up of three flavors (chocolate, cherry, and pistachio) that swirl together to create heaven in a cup. In my current line of work I get to serve spumoni all day and all night. Add the heavenly taste to the fact that the ice cream comes free with their meal and people are somewhat ga-ga over their Spumoni. (capitalized to show respect...)

Last night I was serving Spumoni to a family that had four young children. After I placed the hand-dished dessert on the table I was about to banally recite my robotic "enjoy dessert" (insert smile) when I was interrupted by a wail. This was a whale of wail.

"Their ice cream is bigger than mine", sobbed one of the kids. His siblings were already started on their desserts, but it was true. Their ice cream was bigger than his, and he was not standing for it. His parents tried to hush him by showing him how much he had; by telling him to be grateful that he had gotten any ice cream at all. Least effective was their threat to altogether take it away from him if he didn't shut up about it. But he didn't shut up. The next series of wails began: "But it's not fair!!!!!!"

There is an unwritten law in childhood that fairness is the number one factor of importance in decision making. Let it be good, or let it be bad- it doesn't matter as long as it's fair. Every kid wants the equal piece of cake, the equal dish of ice cream, the equal punishment, the equal amount of chores. This law is sacred to kids and they take it very seriously.

I hurried back to the kitchen and brought out a small scoop of Spumoni, after all we have plenty of it in the store and it didn't hurt to bring out another dollup in the name of equality. The aggregate of his now two scoops equaled what his siblings' portions originally were so he was happy. Things were fair.

I wonder if we as adults shouldn't try to take a few notes from the laws of childhood? The tenets are few, but simple: Play nice. Forgive each other. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. Share. Be fair. Isn't that what it all comes down to anyway? Everyone just wants an equal-sized dish of heaven.

Decision 2008

This week I was forced to exercise my judgment in order to choose between two options; both of which are less than desirable... and I'm not even talking about the election! I'm talking about the OTHER democratic process where people make choices that define their behavior and highlight their identities. It's a process that comes around every year and I always wait until the last minute to decide.

Decision 2008: What do I want to be for Halloween?

It's the one day of the year where we can be anything. Anyone. The options should be endless, but alas, I'm discovering a trend. Halloween for women means two options: sexy person or sexy animal. In the person category you will find the tired choices: nurse, school girl, teacher, nun. Yawn. The animal category holds the same character's we were when we were younger, but significantly cuts down on costs due to the fact that it requires HALF of the amount of fabric. So here you'll find the bunnies, the ducks, the kitties, the devils. All this really means, however, is that you're in your underwear and high heels with a tail pinned to your butt.

Alas: how can I choose between two such options? Both the sexy person and the sexy animal categories are equal parts cliche and boring, as well as degrading and... well, naked. (Let's be honest, if I had the bod I would go as Eve. Hand over the fig leaf and the apple and call it good!)

In the end the choice for me was simple: I am not doing either of them. Decision 2008 political style collided with my Decision 2008 Halloween style. I was Joe the Plumber. And damn was I sexy!

Tap that!

With the previous post (Bananas and Berry Shakes) it's easy to see that I love me my music. Love. This is a love that has existed forever and because of that I've been attending concerts of various styles, shapes, and sizes for equally as long. In recent months I have decided, along with my concert attending posse, that concert etiquette and know-how is a thing of the past. So here I would like to offer up some observations for a list of Concert Do's, and Concert Don'ts. I'm by no means an expert, but I feel the following list are things we would all benefit from.

DO'S and DON'Ts: CONCERT EDITION

• DO go with your friends or people you care about to concerts. More the merrier.
• DON'T noisily make out with your significant other the entire concert. This includes sucking noises, sighs, heavy breathing, grunts, moans, etc. etc. If you are curious if you've crossed the line, just look at the disgusted faces around you. This will verify your need to a) stop or b) get a room
• DO fraternize with other concert go-ers. This is a great time to get to know new people
• DON'T talk during the entire effing concert. That's right, I said effing.
  
• DO feel free to dance, move about, generally look like you're enjoying the music
• DON'T headbang in a Missy Higgins set. She is not a rocker; neither are you. Also, your incessant need to headbang like Paris Hilton is turning my face into a whipping post for your weave.
• DO use a fake laugh to freak out the people around you. Your friends will wet their pants with hilarity while the people around you judge you . (Tara?)
• DON'T assume that the crazy-scary-beluga-whale-laugh from the girl behind you is real... you just got PUNK'D!
• DO watch what you do with your elbows- in close concert proximity one uninhibited move of the elbow could catch your neighbor in a variety of places that don't want to be smacked: face, boob, crotch. Just to name a few. If you can't control it, fold your arms and sway. Your neighbors thank you for it... and so do their parts.
• DON'T bring your Mary Poppins sized carpet purse to the concert zone. This will double your body mass, but you won't be aware of it, which means as you dance around crazily that purse (that probably has a dead body in it) is whacking and bruising the people around you.
  
• DO consolidate your belongings. Generally speaking you'll need: an ID, the ticket, a bit of cash, chapstick, and a cell phone. These items fit in your pockets. If it doesn't fit in your pocket you probably don't need it. (Please see previous "don't" and get your purse out of my stomach. 'preciate cha.)
• DON'T repeat loudly that you wish the "set would just get over" during the headliner. This makes people who actually want to be there really bothered with you... especially since you and your BFF's obnoxiously and painfully elbowed your way to the front. TIP: leave if you're "so over it".
  
• DO wear deodarant. PLEASE. For the love. We are in close proximity and chances are high that you will be clapping, dancing, and lifting your hands in the air to share your love with the artist. We support you in doing this, as long as you've been supported under there.
  
• DON'T put smoking restrictions on venues if this restriction isn't going to be followed up on
• DO "fart on" the person standing behind you if the cigarette smoke is bothering you. This is a perfect way to say "you're bugging me". Silent, but deadly. (Yeah, this happened, you know who you are!!)
• DON'T stand next to someone whom you suspect to be farting on you. Gets awkward.
• DO yell out "TAP THAT" at the top of your lungs if you find the artist to be super attractive. Works every time, right Asholina?
• DON'T stop going to concerts. Where else can you mash a million people in one gross room and expect them to like it?
  

Bananas and Berry Shakes

As a connoisseur of milkshake making I learned early that if you add a little bit of banana to any fruity flavor it makes the berry taste that much more delightful. Just a hint of banana makes the raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries taste more fresh in the ice cream.

So here's an analogy they should have on the GRE-

BANANAS: BERRY SHAKES ; MUSIC: LIFE

Music is the banana to the berry shake of life. It is the soundtrack of our emotions- happy, sad, and all in between. Music can change our moods dramatically and instantly. It takes the experience of humanity and makes it that much better by making our experiences more vivid, more tangible. The only thing better than a great song on the radio or ear-buds is live music. I love listening and watching artists perform their songs live. I love to hear the stories behind the lyrics and to see how engaged they are in their songs while they sing.

Such was the case Wednesday night at In The Venue as I listened to Joshua Radin and Missy Higgins. I love both of these artists, but Missy's songs especially toca el corazon. Here's a clip that my friend Asholina posted; she filmed this at the concert Wednesday night. Oh Missy, you rock socks.