While rocking a fever of 102 F, I lounged in my LoveSac tonight trying to nurse myself back to health. Pitiful, I know... especially for a Saturday. I discovered a new television show on ABC called Castle. Even before the opening credits I was sucked in. It's one of those crime-CSI-detective shows and it's pretty entertaining.
The episode was about murder, lying, deceit, and fear--- you know, all of the feel-good things that warm your heart. The storyline, however, was fairly suspenseful. As the TV characters played whodunnit and searched out the killer, I found myself becoming increasingly more jumpy. The pipes in the boiler room of my house lurched, and so would I. I would hear a car door slam outside and feel the compulsive urge to peak out over the window sill so I could see who was coming. Every shadow was someone in my house. Every noise was a call to arms. What was happening to me???
I finished the episode and peeled myself from my nest to punch the off button on the television. Needing to calm down from my hours worth of P.I. work, I decided to take a bath. Somewhere in my quarter century's worth of experience I've heard that it helps fevers. I was hoping it would also help with jitters. As I let the bath water run I creeped around my apartment, checking door locks and turning on lights. Indeed, a bath would calm me down and I sank hopefully into the water.
After a few minutes of attempted R&R in the tub I added more hot water to the bath. After being satisfied with the adjusted temperature I reached my toes up to the water knob to turn it off and was immediately inundated with one idea: I am Michelle Pfeifer and this is What Lies Beneath! Bathtubs, ghosts, murderous relationships. This was not a good idea!
I decided to avert my eyes from the mediated memories coming from the tub faucet and turned my gaze upward in an attempt to relax. As I looked up at the showerhead I pictured one thing in my mind's eye: spiders! Spiders crawling out of the showerhead... this was just like Arachnophobia!
My skin was crawling and I had to get out. I pulled the drain and grabbed for my towel. As I did I heard the advertisement on the radio..."A husband thought he had committed the perfect murder... " The ominous segment advertised Pioneer Memorial Theatre's newest show: Dial M for Murder. Great. So much for FM100 playing "soft hits with less talk".
For those of you wondering why I refuse to watch scary movies anymore, let this be my solemn writ and testament. I hate you Hollywood.
Sweet dreams everybody...
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4 comments:
Amen Amen. I had to stop watching CSI half way through my pregnancy - my morning sickness had resulted in a little obsession, which resulted in a constantly freaked out me. Can't do the scary movie thing anymore. I'm too much of a wimp.
This is hilarious! Maybe it is a sign that you shouldn't be alone with such a high fever, you start to get delirious. Hope you're feeling better Kathy!
i'm going the club scary movies give me nightmares then ryan teases me it's not fair!!! i feel for you being sick i've been sick for 2 weeks and have had sick kids it stinks big time!
You should try some valium next time! Especially in such states of delirium...
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