Hermana Frumpy

whitneytherose asked: How the heck can you be a missionary without the ugly clothes and shoes? and why is it that wine and cheese go together, but not grapes and milk?

Let's start with the latter: all good things come in time; and in time all good things go together. Confucius say.

To the second point: My dear Whit, there is an element of frump that is innate to missionary-ness that is inescapable. I don't care what anyone else says: the mission is no place for beauty for the following reasons:

A) there is no time for it. You will have exactly 20 minutes to get ready for the day. Including a shower. That means that often you will leave the house with either wet hair or pony-tail hair. Or you'll get a haircut so that it looks like you got ready, when really you didn't. That's my suggestion. Good haircut. (But beware: there are people lurking in the shadows who are equipped with shears and will give give you a mullet hair cut and disguise it as a good haircut. This will make you cry and question your reasons for being a missionary. Been there done it. Anti-mullet).

B) after a while you figure out that it doesn't matter what you look like. The people you talk to will either hate you or love you, regardless of your D&G Shades. The elders in your mission will be cool but goobery. Furthermore, you will be completely trained NOT to seem attractive to the opposite sex. Or the same sex for that matter. In fact anything having to do with sex is wiped out. Thus the frump; You will be genderless and you won't even notice or care because you'll be too busy.

C) comfort takes number one. always. Picture a 115-degree summer in Texas: fire ants, blazing sun, sweaty mcsweatyness, bicycles, nylons. Or a -25-degree winter ice storm in Oklahoma City: cankles due to layered socks, fleece PJ bottoms under the skirt, 4 scarves, boots, the whole world an ice rink, frozen power lines, ON FOOT. Yeah, you're getting there. This is the point where you say: "who the frick cares if I look like a man, my only goal is to live". Because that's how missionaries talk- FRICK.

Moral of the story? Don't worry about the frump because everyone will go through and it's fun and hilarious as it happens. Besides, frump is a state of mind, so even if you are looking mannish, when you're feeling fierce, you will be fierce--- no matter what! (SNAP!)

Here's some missionary favorites of mine you can check out:
Shoes: Dansko. I got two pair and wore them my entire mission. They are comfy, sturdy, and decent looking. You will wear out any other type of shoe in a few months so it's worth the extra pretty penny for these ones.

Shirts: Collared, button down 3/4 sleeves. Easy to wash, dry, and look dressy. Tip: as you shop for clothes keep the laundry process in mind. Avoid things you'll have to iron and DO NOT get anything you'll have to dry clean. You won't do it because you won't have time.
Skirts: Anything that fits. If you find one you like buy 5 of them. Seriously.
Nylons: The cheap ones that come in a box of a zillion. You will wear these down, and throw them away daily so don't waste cash money millionaire on nice nylons. If you serve in a Wintery area invest in tights!!! Also, as a tip. If you're on a bike you can turn black tights into biker shorts really easily (trust me, you'll want to ). Step one: take black tights and cut off the "feet". Steep two: put on tights. They will be like biker shorts- voila!!